As Mother’s Day approaches, the baby loss charity Sands is offering vital advice for those supporting mums affected by pregnancy loss or the death of a baby. For bereaved parents, this day can be filled with mixed emotions, and family, friends, and colleagues may feel unsure how to offer the right support. Sands has shared simple yet heartfelt tips on how to show you care during this sensitive time.
Understanding the Impact of Mother’s Day on Bereaved Mums
Jen Coates, Director of Bereavement Support at Sands, explains the emotional challenges faced by bereaved families during Mother’s Day. “We know from bereaved families that days like Mother’s Day can be full of mixed emotions,” she says. “At Sands, we understand that you are still a mum, and we are here for you.” The charity encourages friends and family to approach the day with empathy and acknowledgement while offering practical advice on how to support mums who have experienced pregnancy loss.
What to Say to Mums Affected by Baby Loss on Mother’s Day
Sands suggests the following guidelines for those who want to reach out to bereaved mums:
- Say something (anything!) rather than nothing. Even if you’re unsure of the right words, acknowledging the day can mean a lot.
- Acknowledge their baby. Mention the baby’s name to show that you remember and honour their loss.
- Share a simple, thoughtful message. A message like, “I’m thinking of you today,” can offer comfort without being overwhelming.
- Ask how they are. It’s important to check in and offer a listening ear.
- Reassure them that it’s okay to feel how they’re feeling. Grief is personal, and it’s vital to show support for whatever emotions may arise.
- Encourage them to take things at their own pace. Mother’s Day may be too much to handle, and offering them space to navigate the day at their own speed is key.
- Offer to spend time together. If they’re open to it, inviting them for a walk or a coffee can provide a comforting distraction.
- Be yourself and be genuine. If you feel you’ve said something unhelpful, simply apologise and offer reassurance: “I’m really sorry if I’ve said something wrong, but I want you to know I am here for you.”
Other Ways to Support Bereaved Mums This Mother’s Day
Sometimes, it’s the smallest gestures that have the biggest impact. A thoughtful card or a simple message of support can go a long way in letting bereaved mums know they are not forgotten. Sands offers a range of cards available through its online shop, providing a meaningful way for friends and family to express their care.
Heatherjane Coombs, a bereaved mother, shares how much it means when friends acknowledge the day: “I have certain friends who every year message me on Mother’s Day just saying ‘thinking of you’ and that means so much to me.” However, she also acknowledges that every mum is different, saying, “Everyone is different though, and I know I had friends who didn’t want that card, but a simple acknowledgement meant the world to me.”
Acknowledge All Mums
This Mother’s Day, let’s take a moment to honour all mums—whether their children can be held in their arms or their hearts. Being a mother is a special, powerful bond, and that should be recognised, regardless of the circumstances.
Sands is There to Support
Sands’ bereavement support services are available for anyone who needs assistance in the lead-up to or on Mother’s Day. They offer a range of support options, including their helpline and online community spaces where bereaved parents can connect and find comfort.
Sands Helpline Opening Hours:
- Monday to Friday: 10 am – 3 pm
- Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday evenings: 6 pm – 9 pm
- Sunday 30 March: 10 am – 12 pm
Contact Sands Helpline:
- Phone: 0808 164 3332
- Email: helpline@sands.org.uk
- Website: sands.org.uk/support
This Mother’s Day, let’s come together to support all the incredible mums in our lives—whether they are holding their children in their arms or carrying them in their hearts. 💙
